A Capital Idea

A bit of perspective can be a good thing some times.  Being married to someone from another country is like being given a second set of eyes with which to see your own world.  After hearing a reporter refer to the Green Bay Packers as the “world champions”,  Jamie asked how they could be the world champions when the rest of the world had not competed against them in the Super Bowl.  I pointed out that being America, we ARE the world.  But then the chuckling began from both of us.

It has lead us, however, to think about the ways we market ourselves as being superior in some way to the rest of the world, or rather possessing such attributes that would render one the cream of the crop.  After four months of job applications, resume re-writes and rejection letters, I am beginning to wonder if I ever possessed anything in the way of experience or skill that would set me apart from the crowd.    It is clear that I need help in delineating my vision of myself but rather than enlist the services of a life coach or career advisor, I’m choosing instead to follow the example of Mills County, Texas.  After all, it’s the Goat Meat Capital of Texas.

You don’t have to drive very far in Texas before seeing some sign, banner or monument proclaiming the excellence of the place you are about to experience.  Texas is darn good at promoting itself. It was on our trip to Abilene that we saw the sign in Goldthwaite about the Goat Meat Capital.  Now we haven’t done the research so I don’t know if Mills County is the clear and clever champion of goat meat production or if they just edged out Gillespie and Comanche counties in the per pound categories, but they have a nice big sign on 183 North so I’m not about to argue.

After a cheer for Mills County, Jamie and I realized we’ve seen quite a few boastful signs in our travels.  Of course you have to start with Austin which is not only the state capital but has also trademarked its self-proclaimed motto of “Live Music Capital of the World.”  Now I must admit that I’ve grown quite cynical while living in Austin so I do caution that the Austin founding fathers and mothers didn’t coin the city “The Great Live Music Capital of the World”  so caveat emptor if you show up looking for music.  Maybe you will fare better than we have.

It did seem that Austin would garner the title for the most grandiose Texas world claim until I picked up a magazine about El Paso at a tourist information center.  There on the cover for all the world to see was the feature article:   El Paso—Mexican Food Capital of the World.  Ok, isn’t that a bit cheeky?  The Mexican border makes up the western city limit of El Paso.  Isn’t it quite possible that Mexico just might be the Mexican Food Capital of the World?  But that’s Texas for you and neither the city of El Paso nor the country of Mexico hold the trademark on the motto.  That hot piece of marketing property belongs to some bright spark in El Paso who markets it on key chains, license plate holders, magnets and jewelry.  Texas wins again!

But let’s get down to some slightly more conceivable capital claims.

Baird is the Antique Capital of West Texas.  This is an official proclamation put forth by the state legislature in June of 1993.  We were in Baird on our way home from Abilene.  There are quite a few antique shops.  Most of them were closed.

Bastrop is the Most Historic Small Town in Texas.  Why this is, I don’t know.  But we’re more tempted to believe that the Roadhouse Café, which boasts on its t-shirts “Best Burgers in Bastrop”, is undoubtedly telling the truth.  No burger in Bastrop could be better than the ones we had there.

San Saba bills itself as the Pecan Capital of the World;  however, so does Albany, Gerogia.  I’m not about to get in the middle of that feud because Georgians and Texans are both passionate peoples who are fond of carrying firearms.  Brunswick, Missouri, claims to be the Pecan Capital of Missouri, a relatively safe and modest claim in my book, but it’s also home to the World’s Largest Pecan, unless you talk to the folks of Seguin (pronounced Sa-geen), Texas, who make the same claim.  Read this quick article for a good belly laugh:   http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/images/tx/TXSEGpecan.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/4031&usg=__pZlun7MATIb16nvL4AsG3TdnaEg=&h=256&w=240&sz=14&hl=en&start=41&zoom=1&itbs=1&tbnid=3WoHk5mZe-M5gM:&

When I started looking for more Texas capitals, I was delighted to discover that a couple of websites are all ready dealing with this complex topic. 

Athens is the Black-Eyed Pea Capital of the World.

Waxahachie is the Crape Myrtle Capital of the World, though Lamar County is the        Crape Myrtle Texas County Capital.

Bandera is the Cowboy Capital of Texas.  Jim Hogg County is the Official Vaquero Capital of Texas and of the United States.  No one is talking about where the Unofficial Vaquero Capital is.

 Eagle Lake is the Goose Hunting Capital of the World.

Hawkins is the Pancake Capital of Texas.  Elgin is the Sausage Capital.  Parker County is the Peach Capital.  Caldwell is the Kolache Capital of Texas.  Mauriceville is the Crawfish Capital.  Medina is the Apple Capital.  Westlaco is the Citrus Capital.  Poteet is the Strawberry Capital.  Basically, you don’t have to worry about finding lots of capital food in Texas. 

Watermelon is a little more tricky though.  Luling and Dilley share the honor of  Watermelon Capital of Texas.  Someone in Hempstead was not to be left out and decreed it is the Watermelon Capital of Texas 2.   But the standing ovation has to go Knox City who championed the cause of the seed-free watermelon and got the state House of Representatives to issue a resolution in 1997 making it the Seedless Watermelon Capital of Texas.  Absolutely brilliant!

I was a bit curious why the lists were not including the chicken, pork or beef capitals and a cursory glance through Google on the topics only brought up beef boasting which goes to the panhandle city of Hereford, Texas, named for the local breed of cattle.  A few Google pages later you find Buenos Aires, Argentina, being referred to as the Beef Capital of the World but they must not be paying Google AdWords enough money if the county seat of Deaf Smith County, Texas, is garnering the first search result.  It may interest you to know that Hereford, due to an unusually high level of naturally-occurring fluorine (fluoride) is also called “The Town Without a Toothache.”  It is, as well, the birthplace of Ron Ely who played Tarzan in the 60’s AND replaced Bert Parks as host of the Miss America Pageant.  Three claims to fame for Hereford…it hardly seems fair.

There is the Bluebird Capital in Wills Point and the Catfish Capital in West Tawakoni.  The Rose Capital in Tyler (presumably where the Yellow Rose of Texas resides) and the Cactus Capital in Sanderson. Mesquite is the Rodeo Capital and Madisonville claims mounds of Mushrooms.  Buda (pronounced Be-you-da) is the Outdoor Capital of Texas but I think that’s because there is a massive Cabela’s retail complex there, though Buda is the undisputed home of the world-famous Weiner Dog races.

My favorite capital of something is Odessa, Texas.  Odessa is quite amazingly the Jackrabbit Roping Capital of Texas.  That’s all thanks to Grace Hendricks who set a new record in rabbit roping at the State Convention of the American Legion in 1933. Her record-winning time of 5 seconds beat the 11 1/2 second time of the previous record holder, Sheriff Arden Ross of Loving County.  According to Mrs. Hendricks’s grandson Jon, Grace was convinced to enter the roping event, which she did, and walked to the center of the arena to prepare to rope the rabbit.  She saw the rabbit heading for her so she roped it in self defense.  In 2001, the Texas Legislature signed another of its resolutions thereby granting Odessa its truly unique designation.  And of course, Odessa is home to The World’s Largest Jackrabbit… I think the lesson learned here is that I need a big sign and a big claim.  Once I've got that, I think I'll be good to go.

(Check out these links for more unusual place designations and to see just what the Texas Legislature has been up to when it comes to putting Texas on the map....as if taking up a vast quantity of the atlas wasn't enough!  And sadly, none of the great photos in this posting were taken by us.)
http://www.beer-bytch.com/state_and_county_designations.htm
http://www.tsl.state.tx.us/ref/abouttx/capitals.html